Zero Chance

Combining observations done with ESO's Very Large Telescope and NASA's Chandra X-ray telescope, astronomers have uncovered the most powerful pair of jets ever seen from a stellar black hole. The black hole blows a huge bubble of hot gas, 1000 light-years across or twice as large and tens of times more powerful than the other such microquasars. The stellar black hole belongs to a binary system as pictured in this artist’s impression.

I went to the juice bar hoping to cure whatever ails me.
The chirpy 20-yr-old cashier with hair swept over his forehead says, as if we’re old friends:

“What you up to today?”

Me: “Just fighting allergies and listening to Soundgarden.”

Him: “What’s that?”

Me: “Soundgarden. Chris Cornell from Soundgarden offed himself last night.”

Him: “Oh. Uh…I don’t know what that is.”

Me (raised brows): “Grunge music?”

Him (eager to please): “Like AC/DC.”

Me (furrowed brows): “No. Not like AC/DC. Like from the early 90’s.

Him (all knowingly): “Oh…That was a dark time in our history.”

Me (squinty): “Um…really? Well, anyone over 30 would know who I’m talking about. You’re deprived.”

Him (proud-like): “Deprived…or depraved?”

Me (staring out the window): “We were depraved. You are deprived of our depravity.”

Him: “Ha ha ha.” [Translation: You look normal, but you’re a quirky old person.]

Me: “What’s a charcoal shot?”

Him: “It’s charcoal dust.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Him: “It’s activated and like, a dust. Do you want one?”

Me: “I’ll pass.”

Him: “Sorry to hear about your friend.”

Me: “He’s not my friend, he’s a famous rock star!”

Him: “Like Justin Bieber?”

Me: “Okay. Yes. Just like Justin Bieber. Gimme a shot of the damn charcoal.”


I think I know the answer
I stumbled on and all the world
fell down
And all the sky went silent
Cracked like glass and slowly
Tumbled to the ground
They say if you look hard
You’ll find your way back home
Born without a friend
And bound to die alone